Dear Martian Colony Committee--

Why do we want to go to Mars? I’ll tell you why we want to go to Mars. We've done all there is to do on this planet, and we’re tired of Boca Raton. Retirement in Florida isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. And I’ll tell you, our neighbor, Edna, she won't ever leave us alone. She's always asking us for advice, and sugar. She doesn't need to eat sugar. Have you seen her? If you have, you’d know. And I'm tired of hearing her brag about that damn Caribbean cruise her son sent her on. I’ll get the one up on that woman if it's the last thing I do. And you know what? I think she's got her eye on my Murray. He always thinks someone’s got her eye on him. And it’s true, because there’s a lot of him to see. He’s one big hunk of manhood. I know that better than anyone. That’s where the low gravity would come in handy. It would be nice not to get crushed by him. Oh, and another thing - Mars is far away, so there’s no traffic.

Next is the humor. I have such a good sense of humor. And we have to keep the crew laughing, don’t we? It's a long trip to Mars. It's what – eight, nine months? It’ll be even longer if nobody's laughing. But don’t get Murray started on the impersonations. He thinks he’s so good with the impersonations. My God, if I have to spend the rest of my life on Mars with his damn Sean Connery impersonations – he sounds nothing like Sean Connery. He sounds like he has a cold. I just want to give him a Sudafed when he goes on with the Sean Connery. You leave the laughter to me. I'll bring the Mad Libs. It always does the trick. It worked on the kids. Who gets tired of Mad Libs? Nobody, that’s who!

And lastly, why should we go to Mars? Out of the six people, we're the two that really need to go. We're the life of every party, and nobody can beat my matzo ball soup. And of course, there was the year I made all the kids' costumes. I'm a great seamstress. We'll have one hell of a Halloween! We'll all dress like earthlings, like that Sandra Bullock lady in that movie. She's a cutie that Sandra Bullock. It was Gravity! Why did they call it Gravity? There was no gravity there. They should have called it Floating.

So please, send us to Mars! Because what else are you going to do with us?

Sincerely,

Gladys Schackerdue

By Karl Schackne

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in Lakeview, OR – a little town in the middle of nowhere in Southeast Oregon. It's a very rural area in the high desert. Lakeview is a town that had one traffic light, and it only flashed yellow – they took it out, though, because it confused people. In particular, I lived on a cattle ranch outside of town, where, when not crawling around old barns with rusty nails and loose floorboards or playing on 2300 acres, I was chopping thistles by hand and removing rocks from corrals.  At times I felt isolated from a lot of my interests. There was no theater, my family drove me hours away to participate in summer workshops, or see play. I learned that was a good way to avoid building fence.

What excites you about theatre right now?

Badass female roles. Badass female playwrights. Badass female directors. 

How did you know acting was your strong suit? Did you ever do anything else?

It's difficult for me to really pin down a specific moment that I "knew" acting was my strong suit. I've always been the performer in my family and it's always been something I enjoyed. Maybe the moment I first felt confident in my ability to inhabit a character and empowered to pursue acting unapologetically was in an acting class during my semester abroad at the Moscow Art Theatre. The curriculum was based around acting etudes, one in particular we were instructed to choose a character from a play from our reading list and present a "missing scene" with that character. I chose Nina from "The Seagull" and created a scene that might have occurred after she was abandoned by Trigorin and still trying to make it as an actress, before she comes back for the last scene. It's incredible when everything clicks into place. That was the first time that happened for me.

I've done a lot--both in and out of theatre. I have experience directing, playwriting, and in costume design and construction. In school, I spent my summers leading trail rides and packing mules in Kings Canyon National Park. I've done the food and customer service thing. I have a lot of other interests, but what made me realize how important acting is to me was the year I went without it. I never want to do that again.

How do you handle backstage drama?

I avoid it. At all costs. I'm a classic middle child in that regard. I focus on doing my job: solving problems not making them.

What's the most fun or most challenging acting role you've had to date? Why?

My perspective on past roles often changes. But, thinking about it right now...it would be a character from a short play called Tucked in Tight. I played a woman who has to face her physically abusive ex-husband, who was loving to their two young daughters. They don't know about the abuse, but recent actions force the woman to ban him from seeing them. It was such a complex scenario and required a lot of layering. Add a very short and intense rehearsal time and I found myself pretty spent. I am usually able to shake off challenging characters when I'm not in the rehearsal room, but I found this one lingering. I still trust my resilience, but I now understand the importance of taking care of myself with roles that can be emotionally and/or mentally taxing.

What do you do to take extra care of yourself through rehearsals and into performances? 

I make sure I get plenty of sleep and drink a lot of water. I remind myself to go for walks and runs and do laundry. A lot of reminders! As much as I can I stay organized – keeping up with my calendar and keeping clutter under control. That being said, I try to cut myself some slack when things get chaotic. I'm not going to say I haven't stumbled home late from rehearsal, collapsed in my bed with a pile of clean-ish laundry, and--in response to my growling stomach and my roommate's request to finally do my dishes say, sotto voce, "I'll deal with it after closing."

What is your favorite part about the work?

The collaboration. Everyone has individual duties and roles, but when everyone is sharing their hard work with the team, that's when the magic happens. Also, I get to play make-believe everyday--what's not to love about that?!

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play·wright
ˈplāˌrīt/noun: a person who writes plays.

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Where are you from? 

Transfer. It's a small village in rural Pennsylvania. It was named after the transfer stations on the rail lines that linked two track systems of different gauges. Early on, before the transcontinental, railroads were built by multiple companies and unregulated, so eventually there were over 20 different track gauges across the east and midwest. Therefore, when a train came in on one line and met up in a town with a different line, the cargo and passengers needed to be transferred to a different train in order to continue its journey. I've always found this an appropriate personal metaphor.


What excites you about theatre right now?

I'm loving the new groundswell of playwright collectives popping up and the Do-It-Yourself mentality when it comes to self-producing. It's gotten a bad rap in the past, but I think it's vital for playwrights to take some control in getting their plays seen.  Let's face it. Competition for a production is rough. Hundreds of playwrights are vying for the few slots available in a theater's season, so what are we to do? Sit and wait? I don't think so. Plays are meant to be seen. Get them seen!


How did you know writing was your strong suit? Did you ever do anything else?

Oh, I've done a lot of other things. My first job was a radio announcer when I was sixteen. Through the years I worked multiple jobs, all service industry and often at the same time when my husband was going to school. Later I settled into reception work at an animal hospital, working my way up to management. I stayed in that position for over ten years. I wasn't happy. I asked myself what it was I wanted out of life. I had always wanted to be a writer. So I decided to pursue it. By then my daughter was in high school and the opportunity to go to college presented itself, and I took it. I got started late. It used to bother me. But now I keep telling myself that I'm on my path. Don't look back!  


What's the most fun or most challenging writing experience you've had to date?

Hands down, the most challenging experience was sitting silently through a festival reading of my play with this gentleman who was full of mansplaining and dismissiveness. My research was solid and it was a subject I studied. He didn't know this, so he was peacocking a bit. He was irritated at the subject matter; he wanted to put me in my place. I regret not grabbing a microphone and giving a rebuttal. It wasn't how the event was set up, but I still should've done it. 


What is your favorite part about the work?

I think it's finishing each task, each stage. The research. The first draft. Meeting the deadline for the next one. Every time I can hit "send," and feel like it's an end to a phase of the play development, I get a thrill. I can relax for a bit until the next deadline. I also love when I'm writing well. I can feel it. There's a flow and an energy that's quite a high. So I guess my favorite part is beginnings and endings. The middle is the job. We may like our jobs, but they can be tedious and frustrating and sometimes we are looking at the classifieds.